Thanks to whom said this words to me recently.
"I thought a lot in the last week and all that remains is nothing. Nothing apart form the bitter sensation of exclusion, of being excluded from the other person's life so suddenly.
In other people's life we enter on tiptoe and we leave even more carefully because in the meanwhile judicial categories have changed, behaviours have been compromised, we look through different eyes and, being or not aware, we lean against the other's limbs.
How can someone be able to cut off, just by deciding so? How can someone decide to draw away the already unsteady stool and leave you there hanging having a millstone round your neck, just because he needs to treat what has been in the past in his/her own selfish way?
What is left, after reasoning about that, is that once again you have been blind all the time, once again you trusted someone and you were mistaken.
And from that two more consequences arise.
First, the other person never really loved you, at least did not love you in the absolute way you loved him/her. All those things that you now holds so close to your heart as immensely precious, for the other person were not that precious at all. And the only thing you can do is to blame yourself for being so wrong.
Second, you are not cynical this way. You only become cynical when you end up saying 'I will never make this mistake again, everything will always be like this, I will never trust anyone again'.
But you know even better than me that we are bound to keep on leaning against that same person or someone else, because this is our absurd nature; and we will do it even more furiously, with even more hunger. This is neither bad nor cynical, but it is just erasing a bit of what has been, what is not part of your being, what cannot be impressed in a substantial way in your experience."
E.
I need to think about that.
To thnk about my being wrong, or to think about my need to convince myself I, We were wrong.
"I thought a lot in the last week and all that remains is nothing. Nothing apart form the bitter sensation of exclusion, of being excluded from the other person's life so suddenly.
In other people's life we enter on tiptoe and we leave even more carefully because in the meanwhile judicial categories have changed, behaviours have been compromised, we look through different eyes and, being or not aware, we lean against the other's limbs.
How can someone be able to cut off, just by deciding so? How can someone decide to draw away the already unsteady stool and leave you there hanging having a millstone round your neck, just because he needs to treat what has been in the past in his/her own selfish way?
What is left, after reasoning about that, is that once again you have been blind all the time, once again you trusted someone and you were mistaken.
And from that two more consequences arise.
First, the other person never really loved you, at least did not love you in the absolute way you loved him/her. All those things that you now holds so close to your heart as immensely precious, for the other person were not that precious at all. And the only thing you can do is to blame yourself for being so wrong.
But you know even better than me that we are bound to keep on leaning against that same person or someone else, because this is our absurd nature; and we will do it even more furiously, with even more hunger. This is neither bad nor cynical, but it is just erasing a bit of what has been, what is not part of your being, what cannot be impressed in a substantial way in your experience."
E.
I need to think about that.
To thnk about my being wrong, or to think about my need to convince myself I, We were wrong.
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