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DEAD

I am dead.

Dead, in my birthday.
I am dead and I cannot really breathe.

In a parallel universe you should be here with me.
Instead you have another love.
You have another life.

There is another you.....

without any sign of affection,
any sign of recollection
of what I used to be.
For you.

All the plans we made
How can I recollect them fairly?
How can I possibly want to remember us now?

Now that you have spit on everything I had.
Now that you destroyed everything I was.

I used to believe I was not destined for happiness.
With you for the first time I felt I was wrong.
And now I cannot even go back to what I used to be,
I cannot think and be strong like I trained myself to.

I am completely powerless.
You drained me.

I felt transparent,
I feel transparent now that you replaced me.
Oh well, you did not replaced me.
You forgot me.
You denied me.
You dismissed me.
Just by stopping loving me.

Just like that.
A snap of fingers.

You were not sad, not desperate.
You just wanted for us to be dead.
Filled the new 'girlfriend job' vacancy.
And that's it.

Pretending simple pleasure,
avoiding bad memories.
Avoiding analysis.
Deep analysis that I cannot avoid instead.

Go on, live like that.
Hang up to simple pleasure
and avoid growing.
You could never be who you want to be.
If you avoid growing, and pain.

I should Hate you.
I need to HATE you.

Because now you
make love
to another one
like you did with me.
Through things we learnt together.
You hold and kiss someone else.
And call her love and nicknames.
And go to places where we were.
And let her sleep in my side of your bed.

I loved someone else.
I loved someone else.
That was not you.
N0t the you that I loved.

THIS IS A SUPERFICIAL YOU.
SOMEONE WHO CAN GET OVER LOVE SO SOON.
AND REPLACE IT, LIKE A SANDWICH.

This is not you.
SOMEONE FOR WHOM I HAVE BEEN TRANSPARENT.

YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.


AND I JUST HATE YOU, IF YOU EXIST.

I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU

And I am DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.
DEAD.

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