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As WIld As Me

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I am not seeking love,
how could I,
if everything I feel right now,
is a broken heart,
that probably was already broken
much before that one person came into my life,
and left it with such an easiness,
to break it definitely.

I am not seeking love,
maybe just company,
- no that sounds not good -

Maybe just 'sharing',
this sounds limited too.

Maybe just that relief
in seeing that
the person you have slept with
the morning after is still there
but mostly
that he will still be there the day after,
what an achievement.

Probably just the need
to know that this time you are making love
there's no risk
it could be the last one.

Or perhaps,
it is just that I am looking for someone
who cares enough
to listen to me
to be there for me
to share afternoons, evenings and nights with me
without questioning that much.

After all,
I already had that
"real, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love".
even if apparently it was only my personal judgement
I've already lived it and lost it,
Therefore, what could be left to see for me?

Why should I pretend is it love that I need
when all I needed has already proven unreal?

Why should I pretend I am seeking something
I don't believe in anymore?

What I really want is probably
engaging my mind with thoughts of joy,
with adventures, with fun, with evening outs,
theatre, musicals, opera, readings, walking,
with sex in different places,
with laughing, with no expectations,
apart from respect, apart from union,
apart from living the day.

It's not simplicity I want,
It is adventure,
someone wild enough to run next to me.

Is everyone out there really as wild as me,
boys I met, girls replacing me?

I guess, this is not compatible with other people's needs.
Is it too much, or too less what I have to offer?

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