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Γνῶθι σεαυτόν

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In Latin it would be "Nosce te Ipsum" or "Temet Nosce" which translated to English means: "Know Thyself". 
In the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. 
Just not to forget to get to know yourself.
 
Ok. I know myself, don't I? 
All my reactions are already written clearly in my soul, 
my heart knows what it wants, what it needs.
My heart knows its wounds, knows them all.

I know all my masks, all my scars, all the painful experiences that brough me here today.


I know myself through my friends' eyes, 
I mirror myself in them.
I know what I do like and what I don't like.
I know I can hate too.

But from time to time, 
there are things in me that simply scare me.
Things I need to bury, 
corpses that I killed I need to hide in the corners of my memories.
Murders I committed I need to swallow and forget.

I become my worst enemy.

There are reactions I had that were not like me.
But I had them inside of me somehow.
Sexy moves I did that were the results of wrong thoughts.

There are feelings I push down to the bottom of the soul and I deny.
I always need to trust me, but I am unpredictable.


How can I be trusted then?
When I am sharp and sarcastic, and yet someone else is screaming inside of me, to let go of the anger, the frustration, to just be.

Be myself.
Myself.
Ah.
With a destroyed soul.
A constantly over-beating heart.
A demanding smile.
A hole inside my breast.
A knot of words to say inside my jaw.

And a part of me lost in the way, behind me, forever.
Another part of me forcing the frames of my reason to come out.
A meimed myself waking up everyday, putting on masks and weird faces
to reach the end of the day without being too shaken.

My lights, if any, all here in my writing.
And my shadows, the darker side of me, 
yet there to be discovered.
And what I lost of myself, 
lost forever.

Oh yes. I know myself.
Indeed, I do. And I am scared.
It is myself that doesn't really know me.


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Anonymous said…
I guess the idea of who spoke "Γνῶθι σεαυτόν" was not "begin to hate yourself from the moment you know who you are".
Instead, it was something like " the quest for the true enlightment begins inside of you "

I know this ideas are all ethereal and complicated to understand.
The better way to start walking through this path, of enlightment, in my view, is starting to loving who we see inside of us.
15 February 2011 at 14:40
AnnaFullStop said…
I find it very inspiring, the idea that the true enlightment starts inside of me. But as much as I can love myself sometimes, I cannot avoid just be concerned for other things I see and don't like inside me.
And knowing myself is probably the only truth left even when you see things that you don't like in yourself. If you don't see them as well and fight them, who will?
15 February 2011 at 14:52
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