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ALERT

Image
By
I should not attach the memories of the good times we had
to an image of you which was never real, which is not real.

My projection,
my ideal,
your perfect words,
someone different from who you truly are,
enough for my explosive mix.

You did remove me,
I did cry my soul out,
here, on this blog,
cause you, you never truly listened
you never truly faced me.

I cannot remove you,
but, Hell, I need to try.
I WILL TRY.

There are people who need to bury feelings and questioning to survive, like you.
There are people who need to cry everything out to survive, like me.

But I am drained, and I am giving you too much space.
Space you don't deserve.

You have been the love of my life,
I would have given you more than you needed.
But I cannot give anything to someone who does not want to.

And writing, writing is now just the raving, the wandering,
of a stupid girl who still cannot find answers
because she did believe in love too much.
And now, she just talk and write to fill up the emptiness.

My writing is now useless for you,
as it is becoming for me thinking of you.
I am just drawning in myself.




ENOUGH.
I WILL TRY AND NO LONGER ADDRESS MY POSTS TO YOU.

I WILL BURY YOU IN THE PAGES OF THIS VIRTUAL BOOK I AM CREATING.

YOU HAVE BEEN IN EVERY PAGE, IN EVERY THOUGHT.

YOU SHOULD NO LONGER BE.

YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DIG A BIT THROUGH THE PAGES HERE, YOU WILL FIND MY TRUTHS, MY DELIRIUM AND ALL MY LOVE.


AND YOU WILL KNOW THEY HAVE NOT CHANGED A BIT.
THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE A BIT.

AND EVEN THOUGH THE THOUGHT OF YOU WILL ALWAYS INFLUENCE ME, 

THE SURFACE, THE SURFACE NEEDS TO CHANGE,
THE COVER NEEDS TO CHANGE.

.


Comments

Santiago said…
"I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew."
And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did.

But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good.

And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward.

How much you can take and keep moving forward.

That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tWLqFmaNdQ
1 November 2010 at 14:03
TheOmens said…
I have been reading your blog for a while after seeing your comment on Paulo's blog and I am glad you reached such conclusion.

I wonder what kind of person this person is, not in a bad way of course, just in general.
Somone who inspired so much writing, so much love must be wonderful...but does someone wonderful trash away this love that way?

Keep on reading!
1 November 2010 at 19:07
AnnaFullStop said…
I learnt that the two things are detached, Lu.
Apparently someone can be loved and be marvellous, but can also be seen marvellous being just normal.
Love can inspire anyone, it doesn't need to stem from someone special or be addressed towards someone special, it just feeds itself.

And the inspiration from the pain, well, that one is neverending.

And again, the fact that someone could be marvellous and trash away all the love that is given to him, well, these two things are detached.
Thank you for you comment.
1 November 2010 at 20:44
AnnaFullStop said…
Oh and Rocky is impressing ehehhe
1 November 2010 at 20:45
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