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My Dear You

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My Dear You,

I am writing you while outside everything is grey and cold and to make you see those things that you chose not to see.

There is something in me which is not quite right lately; different kinds of emotions run into my veins, everytime I know you can be around. It is fear, on one side, fear that I misjudged you and fear to lose you, but it is also excitement, because you are a pearl and I love treasures.

You know, my dear You, sometimes I would like to be able to make this choice, once and for all, should I just accept the compromise or should I allow myself to crave for more? Should I make some effort at all, should I let it be instead? and will you ever see what I see anyway, do you have it in you already?

Because after all, you see, there is no other way of being me than actually being me, however naive it might sound. And there is no other way of being you than being you. And I like that, don't you? This sense of honesty, of nudity, that we can achieve, you and me.

My dearest You, I wonder what you see, if there is attraction at all here, or if it's just electricity between two beautiful souls, between two beautiful hearts. A lovely electricity, don't get me wrong, but is that also attraction? Would we be more satisfied, more ourselves, the better version of ourselves we can be, if we gave in to that electricity and/or attraction?

Do you see the way I look at you sometimes? Not love, not hate, just curiosity? Do you see how we manage to squeeze ourselves into a bubble and just fly away from this hostile place untouched? Tell me, have you ever felt that?

And I know, my dearest You that I can be intimidating, I know I can be too much, too much to handle, I know you don't find it easy to let me just disappear, what I don't know is why you let me stay. Pity? Amusement? Vanity? Friendship? Attraction? Potential? I can accept it all you know? I am not a child, don't laugh! I am not a child, I can handle whatever it is.

My dearest You, if I could I would give you whatever it is that you want, or help you understand what it is..maybe I can do that, right? I would not change into who you want, it wouldn't be fair you know that...and if being me and being you are not a matching combination, well, this is just my insane attempt of boosting our conversation.

I have to go now, need to start my day finally, need to work, study, meet people. Hope everything will sort itself out, and hope I will manage to smile back at you. I know you like my smile.

Million kisses on that beatiful neck of yours, tiny tiny tiny quick bunny kisses.

Love,

Anna
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