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"I have a dream, that one day I will live together with Anna, both fulfilled in our lives, lived as one".

His handwriting on my red notebook.



I have to run.

I am late.

I cannot reach it.

I missed it.

Fuck.

I missed it.

My family.

My future family.

My husband.
My future husband.

My babies.

My future babies.

Cedric.

And Chiara.



I was so young.

Now I feel already old.

Now I have to rush for happiness.

Cause it was the last real chance, I feel it.

Damn, I know it.

Cause I had Him.

Now I have to be satisfied with

someone else, if someone comes.

Or alone, despite my begging.


I have to run.

I used to believe in Love.

I used to believe in long-lasting relationships.

Now I will just try and fill up the void.

I need to run far from here.


How could I lose it

How could I destroy it?

How could I kill my future children?

How could I not read carefully his lines on the red notebook?

How could I?

Damn.
I don't want to run.
I want to stay still.
STILL.

Comments

Anonymous said…
even if you made mistakes, as you said, He should appreaciate your heartfelt admission of such mistakes....sooner or later he will.
20 July 2010 at 17:33
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